Consider the two different opening paragraphs of a discussion about a preventive measure against malaria. Which one is a better first paragraph for a Discussion and why?
Version A
We trapped and counted the number of mosquitoes within the urban environment of the city of Kumasi using conventional carbon dioxide traps. Nearly 70% more adult A. gambiae were caught in communities near moist urban agricultural establishments than in rural locations or in without irrigated urban settlements. When we evaluated malaria episode reports from people living in various parts of the city, we found that 18% of malaria cases in all seasons were reported by those near urban agricultural sites, whereas only 2% of the control groups reported incidences of malaria per year.
Version B
The results of this study show that open-space irrigated vegetable fields in cities can provide suitable breeding sites for A. gambiae. This is reflected in higher numbers of adult A. gambiae in settlements in the vicinity of irrigated urban agricultural sites compared to control areas without irrigated urban agriculture. Moreover, people living in the vicinity of urban agricultural areas reported more malaria episodes than the control group in the rainy as well as dry seasons. Apparently, the informal irrigation sites of the urban agricultural locations create rural spots within the city of Kumasi in terms of potential Anopheles spp breeding sites.
(With permission from Elsevier)
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